Bad personal hygiene
Before You Begin
Pause and breathe. Even if this shouldn't be happening... accept that it is and embrace it with composure and calmness.
Calmness is the only way forward because without calm, there is no possibility for receptiveness and connection. Your child won't give to you any more than they see from you.
Never forget that a strong connection is fundamental, as there will be no correction in them if there is no connection with you.
The Core Problem
They may have a lack of awareness about the importance of personal hygiene, forgetfulness, or legitimate resistance to certain self-care routines.
What Will Make It Worse
Reacting with criticism, shaming, or punishment will make the child feel defensive or embarrassed, and it will do nothing to encourage them to address this issue.
What The Child Needs
1. A better understanding of good hygiene, and how to achieve it: Share both the importance of, and how to maintain, good hygiene body part by body part (or as relevant) in a positive and matter-of-fact manner. Explain that taking care of one's body keeps them healthy, feeling physically comfortable and not self-conscious around others.
2. A consistent routine: Create a daily schedule that includes time for personal care activities such as brushing teeth, washing hands, showering or bathing, and grooming. Use visual reminders, like a checklist or chart, to help the child remember their hygiene tasks and to track their progress.
3. Positive reinforcement: Recognize and acknowledge the child's efforts, and the benefits, when they demonstrate improved hygiene practices.
How To Have The Conversation With Your Child
Find a time and place free of distractions where the child will feel comfortable talking freely.
Share with them that you are noticing their hygiene isn't always as good as it should be. Tell them that when first learning good hygiene, it's normal for kids to do some things well and other things not as well. Give examples of what they are doing well if it looks like they are starting to get down on themselves, or are putting up a defensive wall.
Then work through point 1 above (under "What The Child Needs"), educating them on why hygiene is important and how to maintain it. Ask them if they are having any challenges with anything (e.g. brushing their teeth, cutting their nails, etc.) and either brainstorm with them, or provide solutions to these issues.
Next, plan a consistent routine [point 2] with them that they can get accustomed to.
The goal in talking with the child is not to make them feel bad or embarrassed, but to fill in some missing understanding and awareness about good personal hygiene and get them into a better routine.