Hard time being humble / Is arrogant
Before You Begin
Pause and breathe. Even if this shouldn't be happening... accept that it is and embrace it with composure and calmness.
Calmness is the only way forward because without calm, there is no possibility for receptiveness and connection. Your child won't give to you any more than they see from you.
Never forget that a strong connection is fundamental, as there will be no correction in them if there is no connection with you.
The Core Problem
This is a coping mechanism for an absence of true confidence.
What Will Make It Worse
Attempts to balance out the child's confidence by pointing out things that they are bad at, or similar deflating tactics will only hurt your relationship with the child and do nothing to address the core problem.
What The Child Needs
1. To realize that their arrogance is sending the opposite message: In a kind tone, explain to them that touting your awesomeness to people doesn't just make them want to turn away from you, it indicates that you fear your abilities aren't strong enough to be noticed.
2. To build up their quiet confidence: Take a moment to reflect to the child all that is great about them, and have them write it down if helpful, so they can always privately turn to that list to remember their worthiness. Fostering healthy self-assurance and the ability to realistically self-validate will remove their need to resort to arrogance.
3. To learn that humility brings people to you: Everyone is insecure and has self-doubt at times. When someone is willing to admit it out loud, or even better, make light of themselves through self-deprecating humor, it makes them much more relatable and opens you up to them. Help your child appreciate and practice the skill of humility so they, too can benefit from this natural social dynamic.
3. Role modeling: Model humility in your own life so the child can learn and deepen their belief in what you are saying through observation.
How To Have The Conversation With Your Child
Find a private space, without distractions, where the child feels comfortable talking freely.
Begin the conversation with the observation that at times the child makes strong statements about themselves and/or shows little sense of humility. Ask if they can remember these times, and if so what they were feeling inside in the moment and what they were trying to accomplish. Listen actively to their answer without judgement.
Next switch to talking through the "What The Child Needs" points above with them.
The goal is for the child to come away from the conversation understanding the importance and usefulness of both quiet confidence and humility in achieving what their arrogance was not.
Seeing you model these discussed traits will really help in instilling them in your child as well.