Hard time feeling and showing empathy
Before You Begin
Pause and breathe. Even if this shouldn't be happening... accept that it is and embrace it with composure and calmness.
Calmness is the only way forward because without calm, there is no possibility for receptiveness and connection. Your child won't give to you any more than they see from you.
Never forget that a strong connection is fundamental, as there will be no correction in them if there is no connection with you.
The Core Problem
Difficulty recognizing others' feelings, understanding their effect on others, and/or limited exposure to practicing empathy.
What Will Make It Worse
Reacting with frustration or criticism towards the child's lack of empathy will worsen the situation.
Forcing them to show empathy will change the child's motivation from being kind and thoughtful for the right reasons to simply appeasing adults.
What The Child Needs
1. To understand the power of empathy: Teach them that making the effort to be understanding and sensitive to another person's feelings, thoughts, and life experiences will make them much more connected to you and make every interaction easier and more enjoyable.
2. To practice empathy-building skills: Teach the child skills such as active listening, perspective-taking, and acknowledging others' feelings. Engage in role-play activities where the child can practice showing empathy towards others and understanding their emotions.
3. Exposure to empathy: Expose the child to examples of empathy through role-play, books, movies, or real-life scenarios to help them better understand what using empathy looks like.
How To Have The Conversation With Your Child
Find a place free of distractions where the child will feel comfortable talking freely without feeling self-conscious.
Ask them if they know what empathy is, and how they and others both benefit from being empathic. Based on their answer start to work through the provided list of what the child needs.
They may start to get bored or tune out if you talk to them for too long, so if needed work the skill-building and exposure into conversations over the following days.
As with most things, the child witnessing you do it in real-life situations will really accelerate their growth in this area.