Overly anxious about his/her grades
Before You Begin
Pause and breathe. Even if this shouldn't be happening... accept that it is and embrace it with composure and calmness.
Calmness is the only way forward because without calm, there is no possibility for receptiveness and connection. Your child won't give to you any more than they see from you.
Never forget that a strong connection is fundamental, as there will be no correction in them if there is no connection with you.
The Core Problem
A fear of failure as a person, plus the anticipation of real consequences, both academically and from their parents.
What Will Make It Worse
Reacting with frustration or adding additional pressure to perform will worsen the child's anxiety.
Also, dismissing their fears will only continue to leave them ill-equipped to cope with this problem.
What The Child Needs
1. Better stress management skills: Teach your child techniques to cope with academic pressure and anxiety. This could include deep breathing or mindfulness exercises, or anything that works for you.
2. A healthy growth mindset: Help the child understand that mistakes are part of learning, and failure is an opportunity for growth.
3. Emotional support: Provide support, understanding and assurance that their worth is not defined by their grades.
4. A balanced perspective on success: Encourage the child to focus on their effort and progress rather than comparison to others.
How To Have The Conversation With Your Child
Find a private space where the child feels comfortable to talk without distractions.
Use empathy and active listening to better understand what they are feeling, and show that you genuinely love them unconditionally.
Even if it doesn't all happen in one conversation, start acting on the provided items that the child needs.
The point isn't to convey that grades don't matter. It is to maintain their existing drive, while ensuring they keep a healthy perspective and are able to cut themselves some slack if they fall short of perfection.
The feeling that they have your backing no matter what will deflate their fears.