Pressuring her/his peers
Before You Begin
Pause and breathe. Even if this shouldn't be happening... accept that it is and embrace it with composure and calmness.
Calmness is the only way forward because without calm, there is no possibility for receptiveness and connection. Your child won't give to you any more than they see from you.
Never forget that a strong connection is fundamental, as there will be no correction in them if there is no connection with you.
The Core Problem
Exerting control over another is the child trying to correct for some unmet need.
What Will Make It Worse
Reacting with immediate punishment or an aggressive response will escalate the situation and lead to defensive behaviors or further aggression.
What The Child Needs
1. A chance to share what is really bothering them with someone they trust, along with what they fear could happen in the situations where they resort to pressuring others.
2. A more developed capacity for empathy: Help them deepen their empathy for others, and their ability to understand and respect other's feelings and perspectives.
3. Better coping skills: The child needs your help to learn how to managing their frustrations and see that resistance from another person can be a helpful sign that they are overlooking something important.
4. To improve up their positive communication skills: Help the child learn positive and respectful ways to communicate and interact with others.
5. Clear boundaries: Clearly communicate your expectations around appropriate behavior and let them know what the consequences of inappropriate behavior will be.
How To Have The Conversation With Your Child
Find a time and place where the child feels comfortable to talk without distractions.
Use empathy and active listening to better understand the situation, and show that you genuinely care why the child did what they did.
Listen without interrupting, so the child feels heard and validated. Avoid judgment and criticism during the conversation.
Understanding their perspective and feelings is key to moving towards a change or solution that everyone feels good about.
Even if it doesn't all happen in one conversation, start acting on the provided list of items that the child needs.
Ideally, collaborate with the child to set positive behavior goals and offer support in achieving them.